It’s a well known fact that nothing just happens in life.

Something or someone has to make things happen.

Look around you, you will notice, you are surrounded by
products of someone’s imagination.

The car you drive, the clothes you wear, the house you
live in etc. All these things were once a product of
someone’s imagination, but today we take them for granted
and sometimes loose sight of where they originated from

What do you want?

Only you must decide by planting, that thought in your mind.

You must commit to nurturing your ideas with encouragment,
daily action and a consistent focus.

Your Definition of success can only be defined by you so,
you must create a solid plan.

Below are the important things you must commit to:

1,Surround yourself with a group of people who will help
you carry out your action plan.

2,Before selecting the people you need. Ask yourself,

“what can i offer them in return?

How can i create value for them?

These questions are very important because no intelligent
person will work indefinitely for anyone without some form
of compensation.

3,Commit to a consistent meeting with your mastermind group,
in order to evaluate your plans.

You can decide to make it a monthly meeting or weekly
meeting as long as it is productive.

4,It’s important to cultivate a good relationship with the
members of your master mind group.

Always remember people will work harder if they feel vlaued and appreciated

For your plan to succeed, you can not afford to be careless in this area.

5,Never, ever, try to dominate your group. Remember you are a team
working towards acommon goal. Dictatorship never last,so guard
against this

You need people who will work with you not against you.(
This is not x factor, butyou factor )

I remember when i set out to become an author, I received loads of rejection slips
almost daily, which was a very discouraging experience for me.

I determined in my heart after receiving 144 rejection slips that i will keep going
until i make it.

Few months later i received a letter in the post from my now
publisher which read:

“We will be honored to publish your book”

For me it took 144 rejection slips to achieve my goal. I don’t how
many rejectionsit will take for you. I don’t know how many obstacles
you will have to overcome, idon’t know how high your mountain is and
when you will climb to the top.

What i do know is this:

You will make it if you keep going.

Disraeli said this:

“Everything comes if a man will only wait…
a human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and nothing
can resist awill that will stake even existence for it’s fulfillment”

The subconcious mind is very powerful, and it can be used to
serve us or workagainst us, depending on how we use it.

A farmer has to plant a seed before nature takes over.

We have to put food in our stomach before our body can digest it.

“We become what we think because our subconscious mind makes it so.

Thoughts gives birth to emotions, emotions give birth to reaction,
reaction givesbirth to action, action gives birth to result.

It’s worth it, and they are worth it. Happy valentine xx

“I want each and everyone of you to furfill a dream and at the end of it look at what you have done
(completed) and feel the accomplishment and achievement I did only then will you understand how
I felt when I passed away.”

It’s never too late to start living so decide what you want and go out and bloody get it!
Posted in Grief, Loss, Mother, accomplishments, achievements, action, commitment, dad, dream, dreams,
expectations, father, goals, inspiring, life, motivating, thought provoking

I didn’t forget to call, I just remembered to not call.
•
I’ve never really had a relationship with my Dad, in fact for most of my life; he hasn’t been around, until recently.
Don’t get me wrong, we both tried to have a relationship, but something just got in the way every time, we got in the way.

I would say something, he would misunderstand and flip out and that would be it for another few years, and
so it went on, until 18months ago. 18 months ago I decided that this time it would work.

I can’t really tell you why this time was different, I just decided that it was, and together we’ve started to make it happen.

It was the most honest I’d ever been with myself and my Dad, I expressed how I felt and why it never worked.

I heard him say words that I don’t remember hearing before “I’m sorry, I love you”. The blame had disappeared,
there was no need to hold onto the lack of him anymore, there was no anger, there was no regret, there was just Now.
My relationship with my Dad has been evolving slowly; we’ve met face to face a couple of times and spoken on the phone.

We had lunch on his birthday a few weeks ago with my brother and his wife, my brother grew up with him,
so they have a different relationship. Was it like having a normal birthday lunch with your Dad?

I wouldn’t know, I don’t think so.

I think the most amazing thing about all of this is seeing part of me in him, that I have his genes.

I really do have a Dad, a parent in the living world. We have the same eyes and chin, now I know where
I get my baby’s bottom from (on my chin silly). He jumps to and from different voices all the time, he’s joking so often and laughing, I’m laughing with my Dad…I’m laughing with my Dad.

So is that it now? Do I suddenly have a great relationship with my Dad and were our past lives together just a bad dream?

I wish it was that simple, but everything needs work, every time we do something new we have to put effort into it.

When we make a change in our lives, we must keep working on that change until it becomes natural for us,
unconscious for us. How long does that take? Well, as long as it takes.

So did I get angry when I got a text from my Dad making sure his Father’s Day card was in the post? Sure. How could he not understand that you can’t miss someone when you’ve never really had them?

Why would Fathers Day suddenly mean something to me when it’s meant nothing for most of my life?

Then I realised, this was just him getting excited, for the first time, he may actually be recognised by both his children
on Father’s Day instead of just his son.

To me, this was my chance to phone up and apologise for why he didn’t get a card or call from me, I’ve been busy,
I forgot, it’s in the post…all those normal excuses one may give to one’s Dad.

This year Fathers Day happened in my life, maybe as excuses but it still happened…that’s why I made that call
18 months ago.

I have to go now; I promised my Dad I’d call him for a catch up…
Posted in Daughter, Father’s Day, Son, commitment, dad, family, inspiring, lessons, letting go, life, relationships,
thought provoking

Life’s too short to be taken too seriously!

Take a deep breath, sit back and de-stress for a moment with this hysterical 5 minute video!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4fPHt0FjEU

Life’s too short so lighten up and enjoy the ride

To the gentleman (I mean animal) I had the pleasure (I mean misfortune) of talking to this morning,
I would like to say thank you kindly for your despicable and totally offensive words as you have made me realise, even more, how good I am at communication.

To the gentleman in question I would like to recommend that you relieve yourself of your obvious stress in an
activity of your choice (!), watch this video, and teach yourself what you’re meant to be teaching others!

Note to self: always walk my own talk and never speak to anyone the way I was spoken to this morning.
Response to self: Noted and don’t worry, I never would!

Love is … a living hell

Of course it’s not, Love is incredible. Yet for some people it’s not, I mean really, love is literally a living
hell for them, and because they don’t know any different, they think it will always be that way.

They honestly believe that even though they’re being beaten, that they’re in love.

They honestly believe that even though they lie through their teeth to their partners, that they’re in love.

They honestly believe that even though their partner is never ever faithful or even that they’re never ever faithful, that they’re in love.

I was there, in that relationship where I lived in fear of upsetting my boyfriend.

I was on tender hooks the whole time and it didn’t matter where we were, he would find a room he could take
me into to convince me he was right. If he couldn’t then I knew I would get it in the car or back at home.

Sometimes it would be physical but most of the time it was mental, abuse is abuse. You see this guy was good;
in fact this guy was great at making him feel and look better by putting me down.

If only I could admit he was right on everything then his life would be perfect.

If that meant he had to lock us both in a room for hours, refusing to let me out until I finally agreed with him, then that’s what he would do. You see tears of pain and sorrow don’t wash with abusers, in fact sometimes I think my tears just
made him stronger.

Neither of us valued or loved ourselves enough. All the while he was forcing me to make him right, forcing me to
put him on the pedestal that deep down, he couldn’t put himself on.

All the while I let him beat me down, I let him abuse me and take away my right to an opinion, to a life, a life that,
deep down, I didn’t think I deserved.

“Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.” Zig Ziglar

Imagine for a moment that maybe I attracted him into my life to confirm what I felt inside, that I was not worthy,
that I didn’t deserve true happiness. Imagine for a moment that maybe he attracted me into his life so for three
and a half years he didn’t have to face up to his own sadness; he could pretend that everything was great. Imagine that for a moment.

Since then I have learnt my lesson. I have learnt that I am worthy and I do deserve true happiness.

Since then I have learnt to take responsibility for my own happiness and my own life, and to ask for help when I need it.
Would I let someone treat me that way again? Hell no.

Would I let someone get close to treating me that way again? If I start to doubt myself, then it’s a possibility.
If we imagine for a moment that maybe we attract people into our lives that reflect what’s going on inside of us,
then of course it’s a possibility.

One thing I’m sure of is as long as I truly love and value myself, I know that others will do the same.

“Dedicate yourself to the good you deserve… Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy. You deserve delight.”
Mark Victor Hansen

If you’re in a similar situation to this then know that you’re not alone, there is an amazing light at the end of your tunnel,
and start to believe in yourself. Take matters into your own hands, talk to someone and things will start to get easier.

If you don’t have anyone you can speak to then contact me and I will put you in touch with someone who can help you.
If you know someone who is in a similar situation to this then let them know that you’re there for them when they need you.

Leave your door open for them and when they’re ready they’ll walk through it.

22 Birthdays and still no Birthday girl.

So it’s Mum’s birthday today, she would’ve been 65 years old. I don’t really know how the party would’ve turned
out but I can guarantee she would have had us all dancing like crazy people, probably to a backing track of ‘Bat out of Hell’ by Meatloaf or ‘Simply the Best’ by Tina Turner.

I was 12 years old and my brother was 9 when our Mum lost her fight against Cancer.

If only I’d have known then what I know now about the power of the mind and the inner strength that we all have,
maybe I could’ve helped her fight it. Do I let that plague me? No.

You see I don’t live in the past thinking about how my life would’ve or could’ve been if she was still alive,
that defeats the point of life right? Instead I live my life with everything I have,
to make her proud and make myself proud.

If Mum enjoyed her steins at Munich Beer Festival then I know she loved my trip to Australia.

If Mum enjoyed dancing in her living room to Tina Turner then I know she adored my hallway ‘First time, First Love’.

If Mum enjoyed climbing Snowdonia and being at one with nature then I know she’ll have marvelled at
my hike to Machu Picchu in Peru.

So does all of this make today easier to cope with? Has time been a good enough healer to
keep me strong on her birthday?

To be honest with you no it doesn’t and no it hasn’t. No matter how strong I am in my life and regardless of my
gift to help others be positive and be the best they can be; on the 11th May I am powerless and probably
always will be.

A friend of mine made a very valid point today that I don’t think has been raised yet.

What exactly are we doing with these birds, cows and now pigs to get these diseases in the first place?

I mean really, come on Mexico, whatever you’re doing with these animals, don’t you think it’s time you stopped.
Well maybe that’s a little harsh but it does make you wonder doesn’t it.

You can’t always believe what you read however I read that the local people were protesting about the toxic waste from the farm for months before this happened so why was something not done sooner? Why are communities not listened to?

Why is there so much negligence in the world, are we that understaffed everywhere that we don’t have the manpower to act?

Or are we so darn lazy that we can’t be bothered to do our jobs properly and consequently, people lose lives?

Or is it quite simply Natural Selection at it’s best and no matter what we do, these diseases will always find a way
to take lives?

Any dream will do…

So if you’ve been hiding under a rock for the last 2 weeks then you’ll be forgiven for not knowing who Susan Boyle is. Clickwww.youtube.com and search for “Susan Boyle Singer” and you’ll find out.

For those of you who know exactly who Susan Boyle is and you have a dream that you haven’t yet fulfilled,
then if there was ever any motivation to get off your arse and do something, I believe the ‘never been kissed’ Ms Boyle is it!

First of all, wow oh wow can that woman sing. If you’ve got a friend who has a dream to be as big as Elaine Paige,
yet they sound like a strangled cat then I would probably recommend you help them find another dream.

Otherwise they’ll end up being on X factor as another hopeless contestant, brokenhearted and laughed at by millions, entertainment for us but more ’worst day of my life’ for them.

Simililarly if you know someone who has a BIG dream, and there’s a slim chance they might make it then please
don’t stand in their way. Be there for them, motivate them, support them and maybe just maybe their dream
will come true…like Susan Boyle.

Sing in front of millions: tick.

Be adored and admired by the world: tick.

Be kissed: tick (Piers Morgan has volunteered).

Posted in Susan Boyle, achievements, commitment, fun, inspiring, motivating

What’s it all about hey?

You know, when a department whose job it is to help us with our problems, whatever
they are, so often adds to our problems.

As if we didn’t have enough to think about today, everything that’s overdue at work, paying the bills, calling
Auntie Sandra tonight and clearing the spare bedroom for when Sarah comes to stay at the weekend…or so many
things similar yet different to that. So why is it when our or should

I say my mobile/cell gets cut off because they still haven’t set up my Direct Debit properly, why is it that the very
thought of having to call the customer services call centre is almost as bad as the phone being cut off itself?

I’ll tell you why it used to be this way, it’s because before you even got to a real person you’ve been to every bloody option on their stupid automated system. Of course you now know where to go if you’ve had a camel walk on your phone
and accidently throw it into the ocean right, just not how to be re-connected.

You’re on hold and you’ve been cut off 3 times and been put to the back of the queue every time, so when you do finally speak to someone you ask them to take your number just in case you get cut off again, this is, of course,
not possible because they can not make external calls…Oh and another thing, pleeeeease get my name right.

My name is Emma Fairclough as in ‘Faircluff’, I know I may be a little hard but COME ON, it’s not that difficult a name to get
right is it? It’s not Fairclog, or Fairclow, or Fairclue, or any other Fair, it’s Fairclough.

And the beat goes on with the extent of the moaning that can be done about call centres, believe me I’ve had it all!
So you can imagine my surprise when I finally had amazing service.

What? Yes you heard me right, I had the most incredible young lady as my ‘Customer Service Representative’, her name is Sarah G (I need to protect her identity for legal reasons ) and she works at Vodafone. She was quite simply an angel.

Nothing was too much trouble, she was patient, professional, personable, knowledgable and effective at her job. She was even proactive and saw other problems I was having with my phone because she also happened to be
a Blackberry expert as well!! THANK YOU LORD FOR GIVING ME SARAH!

Now I know we moan about Call Centres (see above) and our hackles go up before we’ve even made the
call but d’you know what, they’re not ALL that bad.

They actually have a pretty shit job half the time, with all us irritated buggers ready to scream at them
before they even speak! Did Sarah work in the Direct Debit department, er I don’t think so, so was it really going
to be her fault?

Of course not and also no mater how calm we attempt to be, sometimes we just can’t help it right?

So I’m here to say to all those Call Centre Customer Service Representatives out there ”We understand that your
job may be tough, all we ask is that you understand our troubles too”.

If we work together then then world will most defnitely be a better place right? Right.

I was so impressed with Sarah that I spoke to her Manager as they also receive bonus related pay based on
their standard of work. If they’re bad we scream so we should scream louder if they’re good!
Posted in fun, thought provoking
Bank Holidays

Did you know that before 1834, there used to be thirty four bank holidays a year and then suddenly they
slashed that to four!?

I think someone must’ve had a reeeally bad day in 1834. Can you imagine how miserable that person was
who came into the ‘Government’ house that day.

“Hey guys, hope you’re all well and enjoying your work/life balance with all these great holidays you’re getting.

Well I’m sorry to say this but my wife left me at the weekend, my children have disowned me and my alcohol addiction has got out of hand so I’ve decided the only way I’m going to get through this is to throw myself into my work.

Obviously there’s no point in me being in the ‘Government’ house on my own so I’m cancelling 30 of your bank holidays!”

I guess we really should count ourselves lucky then that Sir John Lubbock gave us four more days in 1871 just so we could get involved in our local cricket scene. I still don’t know how to play the game but I’m grateful all the same.

So what is it anyway about bank holidays that make us go crazy with activity? I don’t know about you but I’ve
gone mental this weekend cramming in months of odd jobs, socialising and catching up into four small days…
and now on Monday night, I can look back with pride at what I’ve achieved. So the question is:

Why didn’t I do any of these things or see any of these people when I was meant to?

Maybe more importantly for me is I’m ‘flippin’ self employed! I don’t even need a bank holiday, yet I still crammed!

Note to self…when you need to do something, do it. When you need to see someone, see them.

I’m finished with all this cramming business, bring on the work/life balance thing again…it’s the future I tell you, the future.
Posted in achievements, commitment, fun Start Living

Some of you may already know this but toward the latter part of last week, I was battling head on, women to man,
with a good old fashioned British Cold. The Cold, you’ll be pleased to know, is now nursing his wounds whilst
I’m flying high with my victory…feeling stronger than ever before!

For all you men out there, the common cold I’m referring to is sometimes known as Man Flu

So does my cold stop me from having a Great Life?

When will I know that I have a Great Life?

Is it with a Great job; a Great social life; with Great relationships; and a Great bank account?
Hell No!!

A Great Life is a life of ups and downs, happy and sad, pleasure and pain, hungry and full. Think about it,
if we didn’t have the bad times, how would we know that the good times were good?!

“A Man born blind from birth will never know the meaning of darkness because he has never experienced light”
The important thing is that we experience everything to the fullest, get excited with the highs,
feel the pain of the lows and most of all…START LIVING! More often than not, if you’re having a sh*t time
then it’s for a reason.

Experience it, work through it, learn from it and most of all, GROW from it…I can guarantee you that good times
are ahead…it’s a fact baby!!

So whatever you’ve got planned for your week, as an old friend of mine says ‘PLAY FULL OUT” in your Game of Life.

Remember, it’s the taking part that counts

P.s

One Great thing to come out of my having a cold was I had time to create a new Facebook photo album
“Emergise: My Life”.

A collection of a lot of the fun I’ve had in my life and a real snapshot of who ‘Emma’ is, so check it out, or
become my friend then check it out and why not do an “Emergise: My Life” album of your own?! (http://groups.to/emergise-startliving) Oh and one last thing…SHARE EMERGISE WITH EVERYONE YOU KNOW! You know the drill by now

There are numbers of people all around the world who think that self confidence and self esteem are similar though
this particular concept is absolutely wrong.

There is a massive distinction between both of them as self confidence can be increased with ease though there will be
severe complications for an individual to build up his self esteem.

If an individual is having low self esteem then he has to be very precised with his approach and
he must look forward to improvise it with perfect standards.

Recognition and love are essential requirements of a person and one without them will feel more of incomplete individual.

There are various methods which can be improvised to improve low self esteem though the best
ones needs to be adopted in order to make sure that there will be no complications at all.

Your life can be really successful if you have perfect self esteem and there will be no issues for you
to attain further goals in your life.

If you are willing to know the strategies to how to improve self esteem then the very first strategy
which can be improvised is through affirmations.

Self taking is very common and there are numbers of people all around the world who use to improvise this particular method in
order to enhance their self esteem.

This is a simple process and all you have to do is to just concentrate on your words which will be regularly repeated in order
to get yourself to the correct path.

Thoughts of a person are also very important when it comes to attaining your goals and improvising on your objectives.

If your thoughts are not according to your perceptions then it will be really hard for you to carry on your life without any
sorts of complications.

You have to make sure that you are not letting negative thoughts in your mind as they can diminish your self esteem as well.

Affirmations can really help you to get complete rid of negative thoughts so that there will be no issues of decreased self esteem.

Affirmations can not be considered as just taking to you as they are something really special. They can surely change your
mind and your thoughts with great results and regular practice can make it even perfect.

Alpha Brainwave state is required on initial stages so that you will be able to get higher level of concentration.

You can surely feel a massive change in your thoughts and in your attitude with the help of daily affirmations.

This can help you to overcome various complications so that your self esteem can build up with excellence in order to attain top notch results in life.

Have you ever felt the struggle to manage your emotions?

Do you find yourself being swayed left and right by what you feel inside?

It has being said that we can not control what life hands us, but we can control how we choose to respond.

How To Control Your Emotions:

If you want to learn how to control your emotions the first thing you must understand is your thought process.

How you think and what you think, at any given time will determine the emotions you release from within.

Do you want to feel more optimistic about your life? Then you must observe your thought process.

When you think negatively about someone, yourself, a situation, you will get more of it.

Why? BECAUSE WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS.

To control your emotions you must choose what you think and how you think. For example when you experience a setback,
do you find yourself thinking:

“Oh this is a hopeless situation, there is nothing i can do” etc

If you sometimes do, you can learn to replace that with:

“I realise this is a challenging situation, how can i overcome this challenge”

The benefits of thinking positive has to do with the fact that it helps you to seek solutions instead of
sinking into a depressive state.

Our thoughts creates an emotion
Our emotion creates a reaction
Our reaction creates an action
Our action produces a result
Our result is dependant on what we were thinking.

When life hands you lemon, learn to turn those lemons to lemonade

To briefly summarise. To control your emotions you have to control your thoughts.

Selflessness makes one attain a good personal stand and negates one from being mean to others. With a selfless heart, you attain good relationships and interaction with others;
hence you exchange happy ideas and this leads to a joyful life that is a quality of high self esteem.

Though this is a very good practice, it is very rarely practiced by people and religions. Being selfless calls for self sacrifice that is hard for many to practice, but if applied, it
makes one gain love and appreciation for others.

Best example of negative impacts of people’s low self esteem is when the parent with the low self-esteem actually behaves in the non loving way towards their kids who in turn
can grow up with the low self esteem & do same to people. Each word you say to others, each gesture & action is been influenced by the self-esteem.

In case, you have the low self -esteem that you can normally have the negative effect on people. Level of the self esteem is obviously not only the personal matter.

Compare in the mind country where all political leaders have the high self esteem with the country where all leaders have the low self-esteem. In case, I lived in country with
the low self esteem politicians I will demonstrate to send them all on the self esteem course!

The self esteem has the larger impact other people’s lives than the skills in physics, mathematics, history, music, and any other school subject. Still self-esteem isn’t officially taught in
the schools. While I was the child, we had textbook named “I’m good enough”. As adult I will guess that the book was been supposed to teach us the self esteem,
however all students (that includes me) hated these classes as they were very boring.

Make a deliberate, conscious decision about how you want to create your day. Write it down. Play a little with how it might feel. When you get up, act accordingly.

Remind yourself throughout the day of your intention. Look for ways your intention is playing out in your world. Suggested intention: Today is the best day ever!

2. Be true to yourself. Live your life doing what feels right to you, not what someone else thinks you should do. It’s ok to listen to advice, but in the end,
make the decision that feels best for you. Being a people pleaser is a very frustrating way to live. Get in the habit of pleasing yourself.

You are responsible for your own happiness. Your feelings are important.

3. Change your mental diet. Read uplifting books. Listen to uplifting tapes and CDs and attend uplifting workshops.

What you focus on expands. What you put your attention on becomes more real. Don’t focus on negativity. Stop watching the news.

Avoid whiners and complainers. Walk away.

4. Be aware of what your monkey mind, the voice in your head, is saying. Widen back and observe your thoughts.

If a particular thought isn’t kind or isn’t serving you, note this and redirect your focus to what you are wanting.

This may take a bit of practice. Remember to be kind to yourself as you are gaining awareness and strengthening your will.

5. Upgrade your physical diet. Processed foods contain very little nutritional value when compared to raw, organic fruits and vegetables.

Eat fresh produce rather than processed foods whenever possible. Drink plenty of water, fresh juices and smoothies instead of caffeinated beverages or energy drinks.

Add nutrient dense superfoods to your diet. When you take care of your body by supplying it with good nutrients, you will naturally feel better and have more energy.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are not supposed to be like anyone else. You are you. You are the only one who can be you. Your perspectives, gifts and
value are exclusively yours. You are a unique expression of God. Revel in it! If you want something to measure yourself by, compare how you were yesterday to how
you are today, and be kind.

7. Create an uplifting environment for yourself. This can be joyful colors, uplifting music, nature photos, plants, uplifting posters, open windows… you decide.

Wear clothes that you feel good in.

8. Celebrate your successes. Even the small ones. Don’t wait to get perfect. Any progress at all is worthy of celebration. When you celebrate, you are telling the universe
“I am loving this. Please give me more!” Yay!

9. Be grateful. You have much to be grateful for. Before you go to bed each night, write down ten things you are grateful for that day and why. This is an important step.
Gratitude alone can turn things around for you. What are you grateful for right now?

10. Create a list of accomplishments and review it often. We tend to get overwhelmed looking at what’s left to be done and forget to give ourselves credit for how
far we’ve already come.

11. Don’t take yourself, or life, too seriously. Lighten up. Dare to have fun. “Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly” ~ G.K Chesterton

12. Learn something new. Become an expert. Get curious and learn all there is to learn about what interests you. Learning is growing, and it feels good.

13. Do things that stretch your comfort zone. Anytime you feel fear, as long as it isn’t life threatening, is an opportunity to grow!

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~Anais Nin

14. Do something nice for yourself. You deserve it! Maybe a massage, a bath or nap. The key here is to really enjoy it. Feeling guilty defeats the purpose.

15. Do something nice for someone else. Volunteer. Being of service, without expectation of reward, feels really good.

16. Spend time regularly doing things you find joyful. What make your heart sing? Do more of it! Remember being happy is not a selfish act. Your joy is a gift to the world!

When you feel joyful, your joy is contagious.

17. Do something physical. Clean out a closet. Get out of the house. Go for a walk. Do some gardening. Visit the nature preserve. Exercise. Fly a kite. Ride a bike.
Exercise produces endorphins that help you feel better. Also, being outdoors in the sunshine helps the body produce vitamin D, which contributes to a healthier, happier you.

18. Spend time with supportive, uplifting people. We do exist!

19. Create positive affirmations about yourself. Post them about your home. Say them often and out loud.

20. Allow yourself to be where you are. Just feel whatever you are feeling, without judging it or judging yourself for feeling it. Let go of the story you have created around
it and just be with the feeling. Embrace it. Explore it. Feel it. All any feeling wants is to be felt fully.

This can only be done when you let go of your resistance to feeling it, which is kept in place by the story and the judgment around it.

Without the story and the labels, feelings are inherently neutral. Feel the feeling fully, then just let it dissolve.

The motivation to get out of bed in the morning can be a challenge in itself, especially for teens who do not only face tremendous amounts of stress but also the pressures of fitting in.

Senior Kailey Baker finds the motivation to succeed in her respectable outlook on life and confidence.

“Confidence is important. It allows you to take chances and not hide in the crowd,” Baker said.

Though Baker said confidence is key, she also said there is a fine line between that and being conceited.

“A confident person would describe themselves as being above average but not far from their hardworking teammates,” Baker said. “A cocky person is likely to describe themselves as ‘the best/most important’ on the team. No matter how talented one is, no one can win a game, competition, or meet by themselves.”

It is difficult to believe Baker has the time for just sports and work, but she also succeeds in her schoolwork.

“My motivation in school is to reach my goal of becoming an animal control officer when I get older,” Baker said.

Though Baker is extremely confident, she had a time where she doubted herself.

“Sophomore year was my first year diving, and since I had a gymnastics background, it really prepared me for the different types of flips we would do in diving. The dive I was about to do at my first meet was a reverse dive, which is basically a back flip off of the diving board into the water,” Baker said. “I dove too close to the diving board and cracked my head open on the board.”

Baker was resistant to get back on the board, and her first week back, she was asked to do another reverse dive.

“I was literally crying, and I just stood on the board for over a minute waiting to dive, and I could not get myself to do it,” Baker said.

She said she ended up doing the dive, not even landing close to the diving board.

“I ended up getting my highest diving score yet,” Baker said. “The confidence I felt after achieving that was amazing.”

Baker, who plays three sports and has two jobs, says confidence is something that will remain constant in her life.

“Even though times can get tough because I have so much on my plate, I always keep my head high and my attitude positive,” Baker said. “Things will always get better, even if they seem like they won’t.”

The connection between our self-esteem and what we get out of our lives is very crucial. It’s the foundation of our confidence and interactions with ourselves and the outside world.

Having esteem for ourselves plays a part in our moods, beliefs and attitudes, and the quality of relationships we have in our lives.

For many of us, we strive to develop ourselves, feel better, and become better people. Understanding what we can do to overcome the symptoms of low self-esteem is a great way to enhance more positives in our lives.

Generally, most of us face typical problems and the bouts of the blues that can come with them. The great part is that it can be combated with little to no effort at all.

I’ve outlined some practical steps that can be implemented by mature and respectable individuals to increase their self-esteem and general well being.
1. Identify The Issue

To feel better about ourselves we must become better people. The first place we look to do so is inward. Are we are the source of our own self-esteem issue(s)?

Often this is the case, however there may be instances where an external source (flat tire, family member, spouse, etc.) can be the cause, or throw a wrench into the mix.

Whether internal or external, the “why,” is not the most important part of this step. It’s knowing and accepting that there is a concern and area of our lives that can be improved.

Once we are aware of what needs to be changed we can then create and embrace a plan to follow and take the proper action. If the problem happens to be external we must confront it and work towards moving on to a beneficial resolution in the proper manner.

For the sake of this article and so that we do not cover too much ground, let’s presume the issue is internal, which brings us to our next tip.
2. Managing Thoughts

Our thoughts are on the forefront of our feelings and emotions. In addition to identifying the issues we face or struggle with on a daily basis, we want to identify our own thoughts about them.

We do this by keeping track of what may be holding us back from our full potential. Hurtful self-talk like “I’m not good enough,” or “I’ll never be able to…” are both trademark signs of low self-esteem.

Start recognizing and taking inventory of how you think and speak to yourself. This can get a little tricky since our thoughts are automatic and tripped by certain events, etc.

Some of us may have been internally beating ourselves up for so long that the defeating self-talk has moved on to become core beliefs.

Even if we’re on the extreme end of the spectrum, when we monitor our thoughts we can now manage them in a more efficient manner. A common mistake made is accepting our negative thoughts, fears, and dis-beliefs, as reality – when in fact most are just false-perceptions.
3. Challenge Yourself

In respect to thoughts, think of challenging yourself in a different light than setting difficult goals or trying something new.

Practice the art of facing your fears, doubts and the limiting thoughts head on. When we do this with vigor and consistency, we start to shape new habits that foster positive thoughts and logical perceptions.

“I can’t,” soon becomes “I’m currently trying to,” and there is a enormous difference between the two mindsets.

Remember that it’s perfectly alright to experience bad or negative circumstances. They are inevitable and a part of life. But by repeatedly challenging your perspective, rather than being consumed by them, we can manage to overcome and move beyond adversity more efficiently.

Also, utilize the traditional sense of challenging yourself, too. Triumph and accomplishment spread like wildfire in terms of self-esteem. When we reach new heights and conquer new goals our lives become enriched in new ways.

Now I’ll pass it on to you for your take on self-esteem. Does it effect your ability to manage your business and personal relationships? What about your overall mood or productivity throughout the day? Please share your experiences in the comments section below.

Written by Jason Anthony – 4 Comments
Categories: self improvement
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